sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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