i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
