There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
