we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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