Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
