The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
