it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
