i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
