are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
