one two three fourrrrnication!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
