Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
