I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We have started to decorate penises.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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