Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
