i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Are we still banned from the library?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I have already put on my inside pants.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
