I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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