I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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