Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
do nipples grow back?
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