He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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