i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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