What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the day after is always just damage control
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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