I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
