Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
