On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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