Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
