I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Randomize
