Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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