physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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