we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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