I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
