So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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