i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize