There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
