you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
