Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
