Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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