So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
