Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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