On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
