i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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