there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
