You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
