Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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