Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish you could order shots online.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
