My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
