I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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