your thong is hanging out like whoa
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
