did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
