Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
