why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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