i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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