I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
