omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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