Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My cat gives me a boner
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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