belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
