Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
